Living in the Shadows
by Lillibet426
Summary: Severus returns for another year to teach at Hogwarts, discovering secrets of his lovers past and revealing some of his own... Continuation of First Cut is the Deepest. MM/SS friendship/romance.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome one and all! So here it is, quicker than even I imagined, story two in the Minerva/Severus series. How exciting! Well I'm excited, I hope you are too :)**

 **So I know a few of you were asking me to include a summer chapter in the previous story but when I began that one, I had always planned on the first chapter starting with Severus returning to the castle and the very last chapter finishing with Severus leaving it and reflecting on what had happened. To me it felt like a good place to end. Now, I've actually had this chapter written as a draft for years and I knew I wanted to start this story with a day during the summer holidays. So I hope that those who wanted to see it at the end of First Cut, will be happy to see it here.**

 **If you're continuing this after reading the first instalment then thank you for coming along for the ride! If you're new, you may want to read The First Cut is the Deepest first so that this one makes more sense.**

 **Anyway, enough blabbering and on with the story! xxx**

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Chapter 01

Severus walked up his street, a shopping bag in each hand. The kids playing curby on the quiet road quickly skirted around him and clutched at their football to protect it. They had learned over the years that when their ball crossed his path, it mysteriously vanished or it suddenly ruptured. He smirked, feeling rather smug with himself.

"Good evening Severus," a voice suddenly distracted him. He let out an impatient sigh.

"Hello Mrs Blythe," he nodded to the short round woman as he passed her garden.

"We haven't seen you around here much," she said to him with a kindly smile.

Severus stopped walking and turned to the woman. She'd been the only person in their neighbourhood who had looked out for him as a kid. She had been one of the very few friends his mother had had and when she died, she would make sure that he had at least one good meal a day, especially when his father went off on another one of his drinking binges. "I have a new job," he said after a moment.

Mrs Blythe smiled. "How wonderful," she said, stuffing her hands into the front of her apron. Mrs Blythe was probably in her 50's but she seemed much older than that. Her hair was almost all grey and tightly curled in a short perm. Her round cheeks always seemed to be flushed and she was perpetually cheerful. It was tiresome. "What you doing then?" She asked in a deep rich Northern accent that had never mellowed.

"Teaching," he said.

"Oh!" She smiled and Severus did well to with hold a groan. "Our Sandra's kids need help with their maths. They're coming here for a few weeks, maybe you could tutor them?"

Severus clenched his fists and took a deep breath, trying to prevent himself from saying something he shouldn't. "I wouldn't be much help," he said. "I teach a type of chemistry at a boarding school, it's a different syllabus."

"Oh well," she continued to smile at him. "A boarding school, eh? Sounds posh. Is it near here?"

"Scotland."

"Didn't you go to one up there?" She asked and he nodded. "Is it the same one?"

"Yes," he said hoping that if he said as little as possible the conversation would be over soon.

"That's nice," she said happily. "Must be lovely seeing your teachers again."

"I should get going Mrs Blythe," he said, turning to leave.

"Oh yes," she said. "Severus?" He turned to look at her. "A lady asked where your home was a few moments ago, I bet she's waiting outside your house for you."

"A lady?" Severus asked. _Who on earth would call on him?_

"Pretty thing she is," she said, winking at him. "Lovely deep voice, very charming."

Severus felt his body tense. _He asked her not to come, surely she hadn't..._ "Black hair?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"Yes," she beamed. "I hope we see her around here again."

Severus turned on his heel without another word and marched toward his house. _He asked her not to come, why was she here?_ As he approached his home, he could see her sitting on the wall of his garden. She was chatting to the two woman that lived in the houses on either side of him. Nosey things they were. Despite having a horde of children between them, they never seemed to be doing anything other than drinking tea outside their houses and gossiping. It seemed they had dragged Minerva into it too.

"What are you doing here?" He barked as soon as he was close enough for her to hear him without shouting. He noticed the way his neighbours, Tracey and Linda, smirked at each other. They watched them curiously.

"Hello to you too," Minerva smiled. The sound of her voice made his heart jump but his anger overrode any other emotion he might have felt at seeing her.

"What are you doing here?" He asked again, shooting his neighbours a dirty look. He watched Minerva hand her cup back to Tracey and she smiled at both women.

"It's been lovely to meet you both," she said.

"You too," the women said as they retreated into Linda's garden to continue to watch the show from afar.

"I asked you not to come," he said quietly. "Why are you here?"

Minerva narrowed her eyes at him. "I had no choice," she slipped off the wall and stood in front of him. For the first time Severus got a good look at what she was wearing. A pair of fitted jeans that flared slightly at her knees showed off the curve of her hips. Her fitted white shirt showed off just enough cleavage to distract him and over it she wore a worn and faded brown leather jacket. He knew he was staring but he didn't care. He was enjoying what the view was doing to his body. "If you're quite done staring," she said, jarring him from his thoughts. "Perhaps we can go inside and talk?"

Severus narrowed his own eyes at her, the good feeling in his body replaced by anger again. "I asked you not to come," he repeated.

"And I wouldn't have come if you had replied to my letter," she crossed her arms over her chest and he couldn't help but notice the way it pushed up her breasts, showing him even more of her cleavage. He quickly lifted his eyes to her face. She had written to him twice over the summer but he hadn't opened either of them. The truth was, over the past four weeks he had missed her. More than he felt comfortable with. He had been worried that had he read her letters, he would have given in and paid her a visit. He wasn't entirely sure why he was actually so against it.

"I haven't opened them," he admitted. As soon as he spoke, Minerva released a sigh of relief and smiled at him. "What?" He asked.

Minerva laughed and the sound was blissful on his ears. "The first letter was a personal letter," she explained. "I'm not upset that you didn't reply. I assumed you wanted to be undisturbed during the holidays so I didn't write again. It was the second letter that had me concerned."

"What was it?" He asked curiously.

"Your contract," she smirked. "I asked that you return it to me last week. I worried that you had been serious at the end of term when you said that you might not come back."

Severus silently berated himself. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Minerva waved off his apology. "No need," she said. "You can sign it now and I'll return to the school."

Severus nodded but he made no move to do as she suggested. He found that with his anger abated, he couldn't stop staring at her. "How are you?" He asked.

Minerva rolled her eyes. "So now that you've established that my reason for being here is your own error; we're exchanging pleasantries?"

He narrowed his eyes at her again. "I'd almost forgotten how difficult you can be."

She smirked and took a step toward him. "But you've missed me," she said, biting her bottom lip causing his eyes to drift there. He felt the sudden urge to kiss her.

"I have," he said quietly and he could tell from the look on her face that he had surprised her. Truth be told, he'd surprised himself too.

"Oh," she said, taking a moment to recover. "You certainly have an interesting way of showing it."

He scoffed and looked down at his feet. "I'm quick to anger," he said, lifting his eyes back to her. "You should know that by now."

"I do," she said with a soft laugh.

Severus put his shopping bags on the wall and closed the gap between them. His hands were in her hair as his lips hungrily sought hers. Her hands gripped his waist as she sank into him and moaned against his mouth. The sound shot straight to his groin and he pulled away quickly.

"You're a confusing man, Severus Snape," she said, her arms snaking around his back. Severus brought his own arms around her.

"Must you leave soon?" He asked, ignoring her statement.

"I would think you would prefer me to," she smirked.

"I think I would like you to stay," he said, once again surprising them both. He wasn't sure if it was his mind or his body speaking but all he knew was that now she was here, he wanted her to stay.

"We've been invited to a street party," she said after a moment.

At that, Severus remembered where they were. He glanced over Minerva's shoulder to see that a small group had gathered with Tracey and Linda, including Mrs Blythe. He narrowed his eyes at them all. "Let's go inside," he dropped his arms and stepped away from her.

"If you wish me to stay," she said, stepping in his way to prevent him from escaping to his house. "Then I would like to attend the street party."

Severus glared at her. "No."

"Then I won't be staying," there was a challenging look in her eyes.

He wanted to tell her to leave, to send her away but she knew as well as he did that he wouldn't. _Damn her!_ "One hour," he said through gritted teeth. At least he got a smile from her. As he led the way to his front door, Minerva spoke to the group of women.

"I hope apple pie will be a suitable addition," she said and the women all agreed, expressing their delight that they would be attending.

Severus opened his front door and held it open for Minerva to step through before slamming it shut, putting an end to his neighbours staring. "They're going to be insufferable for the rest of the summer," he shot at her as he walked to the kitchen. He could hear her following along behind him.

"This is the house you grew up in?" she asked. Severus looked over at her; she was leaning against the sink and looking out of the window into the concrete yard at the back of his home.

"Yes," he began to unpack his shopping. "A council estate is a far cry from Lailoken." It was unfair of him to make such a comment to her, he knew it as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He knew she wasn't judging him, she never would. Yet he couldn't help the shame he felt at his childhood home. It was as sparse as his quarters at Hogwarts. No pictures or any signs of personal belongings except the books on his small bookcase in his study which had once been the dining room. It didn't feel like a home, it didn't even feel like anyone lived there. Minerva had remained quiet the whole time, perhaps knowing that he hadn't meant what he'd said.

"May I use your oven?" She asked, turning to look at him. He nodded and she summoned Teensy, asking her to bring all the equipment and ingredients she needed for the pie. If the elf found it odd that her mistress was cooking in his home, she gave no sign of it.

Severus sat at the kitchen table and watched her work. She made the pastry from scratch and he watched with interest as she added a dash of vanilla to the dough. She gave him the kneaded dough to roll out while she prepared the filing, stepping in to help him lift it into the pie tray. They had worked mostly in silence and it made him realise just how much he had missed her. He would admit it to no one but himself that he had thought about her often but in the past week he had almost convinced himself that he didn't need her company. He realised at that moment that he had only been lying to himself.

While Minerva placed the pie in the oven, Severus took it upon himself to wash the pots they had used. She came over to dry the ones he had finished with. He glanced over at her and smirked when he noticed she had flour on her cheek. "Come here," he said, reaching for her. She stood next to him and he wiped the flour away with his thumb. She chuckled and dried her cheek with the tea towel. "Tell me about your summer," he asked, returning to his task.

"There's not much to tell," she said. "I spent some time with Lydia at Lailoken and we visited Peter for while. Then I returned to Hogwarts to start preparations for the new term."

"Have you heard from Logan?"

"Yes," she smiled. "He's doing very well. He's still waiting on his exam results but he's feeling very confident. His bosses in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement are already training him for his first mission."

"Sounds like they have a lot of confidence in him too," he said.

"I think Alastor Moody is giving him special treatment," she said quietly. "They wouldn't normally start training, no matter of their level of confidence in a person, until they have their results back."

"I heard Moody wanted to recruit you when you left Hogwarts," he turned to look at her once he finished the dishes.

"Yes," she sighed. "Alastor is an old friend and I would have gladly taken him up on the offer if Albus hadn't already asked me to join Master Melrose."

"Are you glad he did?" Severus asked, thinking about what Logan had told him the last time he'd seen him.

"Yes," she said, looking thoughtful. "I suppose I am."

Severus watched her face as she dried the last of the dishes. He wondered if she ever thought of the road untraveled; he decided to ask her.

"Sometimes," she said after a moment. "But I suppose no matter what path I had chosen coming out of Hogwarts, that I would have ended up with the life I have now."

"You still would have married Robert?" He asked.

"Yes," she said quickly. The only instant response he'd had from her during the entire conversation. Once she finished drying the last spoon, she turned to face him fully. "You have a lot of question today."

Severus shrugged. "I have a curious mind."

Minerva laughed. "How are you enjoying your summer?" she asked.

"Just fine," he sighed. "I have kept to myself. Worked on my research."

"A creature of habit," she smirked and lifted a hand to brush his hair away from his face. "You don't seem to like it here," she observed. "Why do you still return here?"

 _Lily_.

"I come here to reflect," he said instead. He knew that at some point he would likely need to tell her some of what he kept so closely guarded but for the time being, he couldn't do it. The look in her eyes told him that she hadn't believed what he'd said but she didn't question him any further.

Severus had given her a tour of the house which consisted of a living room and study downstairs, the kitchen she had already seen. Upstairs was his bedroom and the bathroom, the second bedroom, which had been his fathers, was now where Severus experimented with his potions and spells. Afterward, they had returned to the study where they spent the majority of the day. The apple pie now sat on the window sill in the kitchen and the delicious smell filled the house, making it feel more homely than ever before.

Severus looked up from his reading; he had stationed himself at his desk while Minerva had collected a book from the bookcase and curled up in his favourite armchair. He watched a shiver vibrate through her body and he remembered that the house could be quite cold when the sun wasn't shining directly into the windows. He himself had spent so much time there that he rarely noticed it any more. He stood from behind his desk and picked up an old throw from the back of another armchair. He knelt down in front of her and she lowered her book as he gently draped the throw over her knees.

"How did you know? She asked, her hand landing on top of his.

"Just a guess," he smirked. "It's almost time for that awful party," he reminded her.

She laughed. "It will be fun," she said as she leaned forward and dropped a kiss on his nose before retuning to her book.

Much to his annoyance, Minerva had been right. The street party had been fun; or rather, she had made it fun for him. She had done most of the talking, just like she had at other parties they had attended together. He marvelled once again at how easily she was able to fit in wherever she went. And if anything, she seemed more at home amongst the people on the council estate than she did among the rich at Peter's home. His neighbours had taken an instant liking to her, especially the children. He watched her sitting crossed legged on the grass verge, blowing bubbles with the toddlers. They ran after the bubbles, trying to catch them and then ran back to her laughing, falling in her lap for cuddles. He smiled slightly at how happy she looked.

"She's a lovely girl," Mrs Blythe said, coming up beside him. Severus smirked at her choice of words. Minerva and Mrs Blythe were probably not far off in age but you would never have guessed. The difference in their appearances was made all the more apparent by the magic that extended Minerva's life and the hardships Mrs Blythe had faced in her life time.

"She's not a girl," Severus said to her.

"Well I can she's older than you but she'd make a good wife," she said. Severus sighed. Mrs Blythe talked to him about marriage at least once a year, always telling him that his mother had wished for him to marry a kind woman and have his own family one day. "I can see she makes you happy."

 _There was no denying that_ , he thought.

"I hope you will bring her here again soon," Mrs Blythe said before heading in Minerva's direction. He couldn't hear what the two women talked about but from the way Minerva glanced in his direction, he could hazard a guess that they were speaking about him. Mrs Blythe thankfully moved on and Minerva continued to play with the children until one of the mother's brought out bowls of ice cream and jelly.

As Minerva made her way back to him, he produced a slice of her apple pie that he had been saving for them to share. "I thought it had all been eaten," she said, using the fork to take a bite.

"Managed to swipe it away before that greedy boy got his fat fingers on it," he said as he took the fork she passed him and took a bite. He made a vow to get her to make this for him in the future.

"Don't be so mean," she admonished, lifting herself up onto the wall to sit just behind him. He leaned against her as he felt one of her arms circle his shoulders and then reach down to take more of the pie. She handed him back the fork and let her hand rest against his chest.

They watched his neighbours interacting with each other and he was glad that they were no longer paying them much attention. Just as he had finished the last of the pie, he felt Minerva rest her cheek against his temple. "It's getting late," she said to him. "I should get going."

Severus turned to face her. "You're leaving?" he asked, putting down the empty plate on the wall and moving his hands to her waist. He watched her glance down at his hands as he massaged her flesh sensually. When she looked back up at him, he knew from the darkness her eyes had taken on that she wasn't going anywhere.

"Take me to bed Severus," she whispered.

She didn't need to ask him twice. He pulled her off the wall and they snuck back in to the house unnoticed.

-x-

Minerva held onto the headboard, her head arched back as he thrust into her from behind. She was wearing his white shirt that she had put on in place of her own tighter shirt after the first time and he realised she'd done it to allow him easier access to her breasts while still concealing what she didn't want him to see. He had been surprised when she had allowed him to pull her up onto her knees to take her in that way but he supposed that this was her way of showing him that she trusted him. She knew he would never attempt to take a look at her back or take the shirt off her unless he had her permission.

Severus wrapped his arms around her waist and guided her up to rest against his chest. She kept one of her hands against the headboard to help her to keep her balance while she turned her head just enough so that he could capture her lips in a searing kiss.

Much later, Severus lay on his back, Minerva tucked into his side. "I have a meeting at 9am with the school governors," she said, tracing her fingers across a thin scar on his arm.

Severus could see light starting to turn the dark sky paler through the gap in his curtains. The birds had been up and busy for some time now and he knew there was not much point in himself trying to sleep now. He buried his nose in her messy hair and took a deep breath. "I have a few pepper-up potions," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Take one before you leave and you'll be fine for your meeting."

Minerva sighed against him and he looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed and he knew if he left her, she may get a few hours sleep. Instead, he rolled her over onto her back and began kissing her neck. Despite how tired she probably was, he felt her hands on his stomach, her finger nails gently teasing his skin.

Their final time, he'd taken her slowly. He was as gentle as he'd been when they first had sex in front of the fireplace at Lailoken. There was not a single part of her body that he had neglected and she had gladly returned the favour but she had used a little force in her touches, having clearly noticed how he responded when she did.

He had allowed her to leave his bed when his time piece struck 7am. While she showered, Severus had made coffee and eggs on toast and signed his teaching contract for next year. They sat close together as they ate at his kitchen table, each lost in a copy of the Daily Prophet, her owl having delivered her subscription to her location rather than to the school. They didn't talk much unless to point out something interesting they'd read in the columns.

Severus walked her to his door at 8.15am and held her jacket up for her to slip into. She turned back and kissed him, her lips teasing his in a way that made him think about keeping her at his home longer.

"Enjoy the rest of your summer," she whispered against his lips.

"You too," she said as he opened the door. She gave him one final quick kiss and then he watched her run out into the street, quickly checking the area before dissapparating.

Severus closed the door and leaned against it for a moment. The place still smelled like the apple pie she had made. He smiled as he began his day, every now and again coming across something that made him think of her. By the time he went to bed, Severus was exhausted but he couldn't remember the last time he'd been in such a good mood whilst being in this house. He smirked to himself as he climbed into the messy bed, thinking about the previous night, attributing that to his current mood. But when he lay down, he caught the smell of her hair immediately and he felt a sharp pang of sadness. He was alone again. He buried his nose in the pillow and closed his eyes. It didn't take long for her to appear in his mind, her eyes shone in the semi-darkness from the pillow next to him. He heard her whisper his name and he gladly leaned into her when she pulled him tomorrow her body and wrapped her arms around him. He began to drift off to sleep with the sound of her heart beating beneath his ear.

He smirked, _perhaps having visitors wasn't so bad after all._

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 **Sooooooo what did you think? Starting this as a new story is actually a little nerve wracking and I really hope that you all enjoy this one as much as First Cut. Please do let me know your thoughts and feelings, I love hearing from you guys.**

 **xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello peeps! I'm sorry I didn't get this up over the weekend, I still have no internet and I just didn't get chance to go to my local coffee shop to use their wifi. But here is the next chapter in this series. It gets quite dark toward the end and there's some violence which is explained in the scene. I hope that it does not offend anyone as that was not the intention but I feel that with what these characters have been through, that this is something that they will have to deal with.**

 **So with the serious stuff over with... two weeks before I go on holiday. Woooooohooooo! A whole week away from work, from real life, from responsibility. Get in! I'd like to think that I'll get some writing done in that week but I'm not 100% sure as I have no idea what I'll be doing day to day. I'll try for one chapter though :)**

 **Anyhoo, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It was hard to write but it was very interesting. I would be fascinated to know your thoughts and feelings on this one.**

 **xx**

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Chapter 02

Minerva sat in Dumbledore's office putting together the list of requirements each student would need for their upcoming year. She and the Headmaster had spent the morning going through the list of applications from families who needed financial support and she wanted to let them know who had been successful and how much they were being allocated. This time of year was always a favourite of hers and she cherished the thought that somewhere in the country there was an eleven year old child waiting patiently to receive their Hogwarts acceptance letter. She remembered her own experience as if it were yesterday; she had gotten up early each day and waited at the window, watching for their owl while Teensy had fussed around her, trying to get her to eat breakfast. The day it had come she cried with joy, danced with Lydia and ran to her father's study to show him what she had received. It had been a happy time until the day she climbed into the train and looked down at the platform to see her sister running after the train, crying her name.

"Filius will be arriving soon," Albus said from behind his desk. Minerva looked up at him and then to the time piece above his fireplace.

"I didn't realise it was almost 3pm," she said, hastily packing away her paperwork into her briefcase which Teensy promptly took back to her office for her. "We missed lunch," she said as she started for the door.

"I think an early dinner will be in order," Albus looked at her over his half moon spectacles and smiled.

"I'll see to it," she smiled back. "But first, I must head downstairs to allow Filius in."

Minerva walked through the deserted hallways, having grown accustomed to the quiet and solitude it offered when the students were away. She always felt uneasy the first few days she returned to the castle to find it so empty but she always adjusted to it and found she relished that brief respite before the students returned.

As she neared the doors to the castle, the bell rang signalling that someone was there. She smiled at Filius' punctuality. She quickly released the enchantments on the doors and opened it. Whom she suddenly found herself eye to eye with was not in fact Filius.

"Severus..."She had not expected him back so soon and she knew her surprise was evident on her face. "I didn't realise you were coming back today."

Minerva watched Severus' face darken at her words and she wished she'd said that she was glad to see him. It was the truth after all. But they hadn't seen or spoken to each other since the time she had kissed him on his door step. To open the door and to see him standing in front of her had been somewhat of a shock.

"I need to use the library," was all he said as he stepped into the castle.

"Hello my dear girl!" Filius appeared in the doorway. He dropped his bag and gave her a big hug. "How have you been?" He asked, pulling away and looking at her face.

"Well," she smiled and closed the door, the enchantments falling back into place. "How was your summer?"

"Ghastly!" he exclaimed. "Too much sun, too much laughter, far too much good food and too many lovely people. It was terrible but I soldiered on bravely."

Minerva laughed at her friends' sarcasm and hugged him again. "It's good to have you back," she said.

"How was your summer?" He asked.

"Quiet," she said. "Just how I like it."

Filius turned his attention to Severus who she now noticed was staring at her. "How about you, my boy?" He asked.

"Productive," he said after a moment. "I'm at a key point in my research but I have exhausted my own books. I'm here in search of further reading material."

"Wonderful," Filius beamed. "But I hope you remembered to take a break."

"I allowed myself one day," he said, his eyes shifting to hers momentarily. "It was all the respite I needed."

Minerva couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips as she thought about what they'd spent the night of that day of respite doing. She felt herself blush and she was glad that Filius wasn't looking at her. Severus however was and she quickly looked away from him.

"Well it's lovely to see you both," he said as he collected his belongings. "I'll go get settled into my rooms again. Usual place for dinner?"

"Yes," Minerva said. "We're eating at 6pm."

Filius waved at them both and once he was out of sight, Minerva turned to look at Severus. "Hello," she said softly. A smirk pulled at his lips as he took a step toward her, his hands reaching for her waist. He pulled her toward him and she left his lips against her jaw. She laughed softly. "I take it the library was not the only draw..." she smiled against his lips when he kissed her she allowed him to deepen it. He tugged at her clothing and ground the evidence of his arousal against her. She allowed him a moment of pleasure before she placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him away. The entry hall of the castle was not the place for such activities.

"When does everyone else arrive?" He asked, lifting his hand to caress her cheek.

"A few will be arriving tomorrow," she said, leaning into his touch. "But everyone will be here from Thursday." She watched the annoyance show on his face and she smirked. "If you wanted more time with me," she said, touching his neck. "Then you should have taken advantage of my invitation."

With that she stepped back from him and began to walk back to the Headmaster's office. She had forgotten what it felt like to be with a man in his early 20's. After all, it had been decades since she and Bertie had been in their 20's and since him, she had never been with a man younger than her before Severus. She had decided when she returned to Hogwarts after her night at his home that having a younger lover was rather exciting. She still cared more about the friendship she had with him but while the sex was good, why not enjoy it? She certainly had in the past.

As she made her way back up the stairs to Albus' office, she found her mind wandering and she began to wonder what would happen should she find Severus in the library later, alone. She felt herself blush immediately at the crudeness of her thoughts.

"Everything alright?" Albus asked, watching her curiously.

Minerva cleared her throat, suddenly finding it to be very dry. "Yes," she smiled. "Filius has arrived and so has Severus."

"Severus?" Albus raised an eyebrow. "I hadn't expected him so soon. I assumed he would have arrived this weekend, like he did last year."

"He wants to use the library," she said. She watched Albus nod but there was glint in his eyes as he considered her for a moment.

"He is aware that as a Hogwarts Professor, he can have books owl'd to him at home, isn't he?" Albus asked and Minerva nodded. "Then perhaps he missed being at the castle," he said thoughtfully and Minerva knew he was going somewhere with this. "Or could it be that he was missing... someone?"He looked at her over his glasses again.

"I'm afraid that you'll have to ask him that yourself," she said, desperately wanting to leave. "I'll speak to the House Elves about having dinner in the kitchens at 6pm."

"Thank you professor," he smiled at her and Minerva quickly turned on her heal and fled his office.

Dinner in the kitchens had been a rather quiet affair but Minerva had enjoyed being in the company of her friends. Albus was currently updating them on what was happening at the Ministry and it seemed that a lot of people and departments were still under heavy investigation. Of course most of the information they had read about in The Daily Prophet but when Albus announced that Igor Karkaroff was set to leave Azkaban in a few weeks to serve the remainder of this two year sentence in Russia, none were more surprised than Severus.

"What?" He asked, breaking the silence he had kept through most of their dinner.

Albus turned to look at him. "Igor will be returning to Russia."

"Why?" Severus asked, seeming more agitated than she had seen him for some time.

"He gave evidence against the other Death Eaters," Albus explained. "It was agreed that the information was greater than the crimes he had been charged with. He will serve the rest of his sentence in his home country."

"Greater than the crimes," Severus mumbled with a snarl.

"Is there something you know?" Albus asked. Minerva looked over at Filius who seemed to be feeling just as uncomfortable as she was.

Severus scoffed and shook his head. "I didn't know him well or of his full involvement during the war but he was close with the Lestranges. He did anything and everything they asked of him."

"Fortunately for some," Albus began. "We do not punish people for who they associate with."

Minerva could feel the tension between her friends and for the first time, she saw a hint of distrust from Albus. It took her completely by surprise and she wondered once again just what was going on between them. Not only that, she began to wonder what exactly had happened when Severus abandoned his allegiance to his former master. Albus had told her that he had given the young man his complete trust and his backing. Had he been lying? Or had something happened in the preceding year? Whatever it was, neither had informed her but she found it odd that at that moment, she seemed to trust Severus more than her mentor did.

The tension was still heavy and thankfully Filius broke it. "Who would like pudding?" he asked and the elves quickly ran toward them with plates filled with sponges and cakes.

"Lemon roll," Albus said, his eyes lighting happily up as if there had been no awkwardness in the room just second ago. "I might have two slices!"

As Albus and Filius busied themselves with filling their bowls, Minerva noticed that Severus was rising from the table. "I hope you're not leaving," she said to him quietly.

Severus froze at her words and he looked down at her. "I think it best," he said.

Minerva glanced over at Albus and Filius but they were too busy talking to be paying them any heed. "Please stay," she asked him but he shook his head.

"I will be in my quarters," he said, sweeping from the kitchen.

Minerva was about to go after him but Filius placed a Maid's Honour with ice cream in front of her. She turned back to the table and she noticed the way Albus was watching her but she turned her attention to Filius instead. "Thank you," she said to him.

After they had all finished dessert, Filius had excused himself but Albus had prevented Minerva from doing the same. Instead he ordered them both a cup of tea and he drew up two comfy armchairs in front of the fire place for them to sit at.

"I daresay you may have noticed a little tension between Severus and myself," he said softly.

Minerva nodded. "It was hard to miss," she said.

"There are things that I am unable to tell you, my dear," he said, looking over at her. Minerva already knew that and she would never push him to find out more. She accepted that Albus would tell her what she needed to know, when she needed to know it. She wondered if this was one of those moments. "While I am still unable to tell you of exactly how he came to be here I can tell you that since Voldemort's defeat, Severus and I have come to an understanding. He is able to do things and get information that I am not privy to."

"Yes, you explained that at the Order meeting," she said. "But there is nothing to report on anymore, is there?"

"Many of the students here have parents or family that were deeply involved with Lord Voldemort's plans," he said, looking into his cup. "I have asked Severus to keep an eye on the Slytherin students."

Minerva pondered his words for a moment until suddenly, everything fell into place. "You gave him Head of Slytherin House so that he would be able to spy for you," she said, looking at him with a frown.

"Yes," he said, looking over at her. "Severus disagreed with it too." He could clearly read her face.

"And so whatever his reason for coming here," she began. "That is what enabled you to persuade him to pass you information."

"Severus willing agreed to pass me information" Albus said. "Even with Lord Voldemort gone for the time being, many of his followers are still at large. I need Severus now more than ever."

"And this is why you are at odds with each other?" She asked.

"I had hoped that the summer holidays may have put some distance between it but clearly I was wrong."

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked, knowing he wouldn't have told her unless there was a reason.

"I know that the two of you have become close," he said, looking at her in a way that suggested he knew just how close they had become. She looked away from him and took a sip from her tea, hoping that her face wouldn't betray her nerves. "There will be times when Severus tries to rebel, to pull away from our cause and I would like you, to bring him back to us."

Minerva turned her head to look at him sharply. He was asking her to be the wrangler, the handler. Rein Severus in and ensure that he continues to do the work he has been allocated. Keep him focused. She had never been so offended by Albus in all her time of knowing him. "Is this why you pushed me last year to befriend him?"

"No," he said, putting down his cup and reaching a hand out to her. She recoiled and he froze. "That wasn't my intention. I had hoped that the two of you would become friends and that you, my dear, would have someone here that would understand you. I think in that my wishes have come true."

"And you ask me to betray that friendship in order to help you?"

"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important," he said to her.

"No," she said, pleading at him with her eyes. "I have always done as you asked of me Albus but please do not insist that I do this. What Severus and I talk about is our business. It is a friendship built on respect and trust and I will do nothing that might put that at risk."

"Please, Minerva," he said, shifting forward in his seat. "I need to know that Severus is being taken care of."

"I will take care of him," she said, standing from her chair and heading back to the table where she put her cup. "But I will not do it for you. I do it because I care about him. Please do not ask me to anything like this again," she said to him as she quickly picked up a bowl of jam roly poly and custard and left the kitchen.

Minerva stood outside the door to Severus' quarters, the bowl still in her hands. Sir John appeared in the portrait and looked down at the bowl longingly. "I miss custard," he said with a heavy sigh.

Minerva smiled up at him. "Perhaps we can have a new portrait commissioned," she said. "A bakery so you and Leander can raid their supply too."

"It's not a bad idea," Sir John contemplated as he opened the door for her. She laughed softly as she entered and was surprised to find it empty. "He's taking a shower," he informed her when he appeared in the reverse of his painting. She nodded and placed the bowl on Severus' desk. "Are you alright?"

Minerva looked up at Sir John and smiled sadly. "Not really," she said, looking toward the bedroom door where she could hear the sounds of the shower running. "I'm just feeling a little disillusioned."

"Is this to do with Severus?" He asked.

"Yes," she sighed. "But not something he has done. I'll be just fine," she giving him another smile and hoping it was a little happier. She glanced back to the bedroom again and a thought suddenly appeared in her mind. She wondered what he would say if she joined him... she felt herself blush. "Would you give me some privacy?"

Sir John seemed a little surprised at her request but he said nothing. He gave her a smile and left the room.

Minerva headed for the bedroom, quickly shooting a heat charm toward the bowl so that Severus could eat it after his shower... their shower. She made her way into his bedroom and quickly undressed. She spotted the white shirt he had been wearing draped over a chair and she put it on. Perhaps it was odd to wear it in the shower but then again, she had no intention of getting clean. She smiled to herself as she took the pins from her hair and crept into the bathroom.

Severus didn't hear her when she closed the door behind her, nor when she padded softly across the tile floor toward him. The glass of the shower was steamed but she could see the outline of his body as she moved closer. She rounded the side to the stall and was about to step up behind when he her elbow caught the shelf that held a few potion bottles. A bottle clattered to the ground and before she knew what was happening, Minerva found herself being pulled into the shower and pushed against the wall. The back of her head collided with tiles and she felt a hand clench around her throat. Severus stared at her as if she were someone else, his hand tightening around her windpipe. For the first time, she felt deep fear and she grabbed at his hand, trying to loosen his hold on her. She felt tears forming in her eyes as she struggled against him, her head becoming hazy due to lack of oxygen.

"Severus..." she cried his name and suddenly his hand released her. Minerva fell to the ground coughing, trying to catch her breath as Severus froze in the corner of the stall. She lifted a hand to her throat and gingerly touched her skin. She could already feel the bruising and she coughed again, finding that it hurt to breath. She looked over at Severus who had sunk down to his knees, his hands covering his face. She reached up and turned to the shower off before lifting a hand to touch his arm. He flinched away from her and Minerva was horrified that his reaction caused her lift a hand in defence. She quickly lowered it and edged closer to him. "Severus..." She didn't try to reach out to touch him again but she watched him run his hands into his hair and he clenched them in the strands, pulling it. His eyes slowly lifted to her and she could see that he was just as shaken as she was.

When his eyes fell to her neck she watched his face darken, his eyes narrowed and his body tensed. She had seen this before. Not on him but on other men she had taken care of during the war. Men who returned badly wounded would momentarily forget where they were or who the doctors and nurses were that were treating them. They would do exactly as Severus had done, they would attack, seeing something in their mind that no one else could see. Even Bertie had had moments where he would drift into another universe, his eyes not seeing what was in front of him, his mind taking him to another time. Bertie had never lashed out at her but he would have moments of anger and frustration, usually at the most mundane tasks such as making an omelette or replanting the flower bed. He never directed his anger at her, or their child, but if someone startled him she could see the haunted look in his eyes. It's what she could see in Severus now. People who had seen so much darkness, they had been touched by it and it had left its mark. For Severus, he had been close to pure evil. There was no knowing what kind of an affect it had left on him.

From past experience, she knew the best thing she could for Severus right then was to stay with him. She closed the shirt she had on and sat a little more comfortably. She had to give him time to process what happened but she didn't want him to feel as though she was frightened or hurt, which was why she stayed. After some time, she watched as Severus slowly pushed away from the wall he was crouched against and made his way toward her. His eyes were still full of the darkness that had made him lash out at her and for a moment a tiny pang of fear gripped at her heart. Severus raised his hand and she felt his fingertips whisper over her tender skin. Her fear disappeared immediately and she watched his eyes as they slowly lifted to hers. Gone was the darkness but the guilt she saw there pulled in her chest.

"Minerva..." his voice was barely a whisper. She sat still, not wanting to rush him but she gave him a slight smile. He moved toward her until he was sitting right in front of her and his hands reached for her waist, pulling her toward him. She willingly leaned into him and she rested her head against his chest as one of his arms snaked around her waist and the other ran up her back and into her hair. "I'm sorry..." he whispered, his head lowering into her hair. "Forgive me," he pressed a kiss to her head and he held her tighter. She wrapped her arms around him and held him, noticing the way he began to rock them side to side. "I'm sorry..." His voice caught in the back of his throat and Minerva lifted her head to look at him.

"I'm ok," she whispered, resting her forehead against his chin. "We're ok."

Minerva allowed Severus to hold her as long as he wanted but when she felt him shiver; she gently pulled away and coaxed him out of the shower. When she tried to leave the room so he could change, he gently took hold of her hand, silently asking her to stay. Minerva allowed him to hold her close while she dried his body and when she managed to get him into some pyjama bottoms, she led the way to his bedroom.

"Stay," he whispered, his hands tangling into her hair again while his eyes landed on her neck. She had no doubt that visible bruises will have appeared by now.

"I will," she said, lifting her wand and quickly drying herself and the shirt before climbing into bed with him. He looked so lost as he lay opposite her that is was almost like looking at someone else. She reached a hand to his cheek and caressed his skin.

"I never meant to hurt you," he said after a moment.

"I know," she said. "I shouldn't have come in like that. I should have told you I was there."

He frowned. "I was thinking about Karkaroff," he said quietly. "About the other Death Eaters who got off..." She watched his eyes grow dark again and she shuffled toward him, pressing her body against his in the hope that he would come back to her. He did. "I'm sorry I frightened you... hurt you..."

"It wasn't you," she said, understanding that in that moment he hadn't been himself.

Severus shook his head. "Don't forgive me for this..." he said, catching her hand that was still stroking his cheek. "I don't deserve it."

"But you didn't mean it," she lifted up onto her elbow and looked down at him.

"I did," he said. "In that moment I wanted to hurt you but... I wasn't seeing you. All I could see was him..." his eyes clenched shut and Minerva lay back down opposite him, willing him to open his eyes again.

"Exactly," she said, lifting her hand to his face again. "You didn't see me." She pressed a kiss the corner of his mouth and he opened his eyes. "Don't push me away," she said, resting her forehead against his.

"What if I do it again?" He asked, his hands coming up to her waist hesitantly.

"I was a nurse during the war," she reminded him. "It's not the first time I've seen something like this."

Something in his eyes changed then but the reason was lost on Minerva. "I don't want to hurt you again."

"You won't," she said, wrapping her arm around his waist and shifting closer. "I'm not afraid Severus," she whispered. "You shouldn't be either." She could see the uncertainty in his eyes but before he could push her away she rested her head under his chin and snuggled down against him. She could feel the skin on her neck throbbing but she didn't care. All she wanted right then was to make sure he was ok. She held onto him tightly and she eventually felt him relax against her.

Minerva didn't know what this year would bring but she knew that she would fight for this, for them, for him. She felt his arms tighten around her and she pressed a kiss to his chest. This man was her best friend, her lover and she wanted to make sure that he got through this. After everything they'd both been through, they deserved a little happiness. She would do everything she could to make sure they had it.

* * *

 **So... what did you think? I know you might feel that there was some Dumbledore bashing but I wasn't doing that. Dumbledore always had a dark side to him, that's my opinion anyway. He did use Snape in the books and in some ways I don't blame him. I don't think Dumbledore was a bad guy and neither does my version of McGonagall but she's just seeing a slightly different side to him, that's all.**

 **And I know it got heavy toward the end and has perhaps gone in a direction that you weren't expecting. But I hope that you still liked this chapter and are looking forward to what happens next.**

 **Thanks for reading and please do let me know your thoughts, the good and the bad xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the slight delay in getting this one out. It's been rather a busy time and I just haven't had time to type up all my notes by I remedied that on Sunday and Monday and now we're all good to go.**

 **Thank you to everyone who left a review on the previous chapter. I was so nervous but the response has been amazing! So thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm so glad that you all enjoyed it and that you all understood what I was trying to do with it. I'm giving you all virtual hugs right now!**

 **So I'm on holiday next week and while I will try to get some writing done I doubt I'll be able to post very much. I'll do my best though and I'll actually try to get another chapter out this week to make up for it :)**

 **Hope you enjoy this next instalment and remember to let me know what you think. I'm off to forage for food now, what a late lunch! I think I want cherries... or maybe an ice lolly... mmmm healthy...**

 **xxx**

* * *

Chapter 03

Severus woke feeling like water had been dumped all over him. He had kicked all his covers down to the bottom of his bed and his skin was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat. For a moment he wasn't sure what had woken him and he glanced to his bedside cabinet to check the time. Instead of finding the time, he found his friend lying beside him, fast asleep. His reason for waking up suddenly came back to him.

 _They had been in the shower together, his mind conjuring up the image so clearly in his dream. Minerva stood in front of him, naked. Her skin fresh and unmarked by scars. When he'd reached out for her, she let out a gasp, clearly in pain and he watched blood splatter across the tile walls. She backed away from him, horrified, and he instinctively reached for her again, wanting to make sure she was alright. More blood splashed onto the wall and when he looked at her body, he noticed a deep cut had appeared across her left breast. He looked down at his hands and realised they were covered in blood, her blood. It was then that he realised that it was him, he was causing her pain. When he looked up, Minerva was no longer there and in her place was a blood trail on the wall. He followed it, travelling down the wall until he found her curled lifeless at his feet. Her blood seeping from her wounds and disappearing down the drain... he crumbled at her side..._

As nightmares went, it was his worst in quite a few months. He turned onto his side and watched Minerva as she slept. He could see the marks he'd left on her neck, the perfect outline of his fingers were blue and purple on her otherwise flawless skin. It made him feel sick to his stomach. He lifted his hand to touch her neck as gently as he could while thinking about which potions he had in his bathroom that could help her. He lowered his hand and was about to get out of his bed when he heard her sigh. He turned back to look at her just as her eyes slowly opened.

"Where are you going?" She asked, her hand reaching for his arm where she massaged him gently.

"I have some ointment that will get rid of that bruise," he answered. He watched her reach her other hand to her neck and brush over the bruise.

"It doesn't hurt," she said, shifting slightly and pulled on his arm, trying to persuade him to join her. He wanted to get her the ointment but looking at her, he couldn't deny what she was asking. He lay down opposite her and watched her lift a hand to cover her mouth as she yawned sleepily.

"It's black," he mumbled, his guilt filling him again. "It might not hurt right now but it will."

Minerva ignored him and closed her eyes. "Stay," she said, reaching out to rest against his chest. He watched a frown crease her brow and she drew back from him, her eyes opening and finding his. "You're soaking wet."

"It's warm," he said unconvincingly. Her look told him that his half hearted attempt at lying hadn't fooled her.

"What's wrong?" She asked, sitting up and turning the bedside lamp on.

"I do not wish to talk about it," he said, his voice clipped. He sat up and shifted back in the bed to rest against the headboard.

"Tell me you're alright," she asked, her concern clear in her eyes.

"I'm fine," he said. "It was just a dream." Minerva nodded, understanding his wish to not discuss what his dream entailed. He imagined that she had had her fair share of dreams she didn't want to talk about either. He reached a hand to her neck again. "Please let me heal that for you," he pleaded and was glad when she nodded her consent. Maybe she was doing out of pity or kindness, he wasn't sure and at that moment, he didn't really care.

Severus went into his bathroom and returned a few minutes later with the ointment. He found Minerva sitting with her back against the headboard, a book from his nightstand resting on her knees. Her hair flowed freely around her shoulder and her glasses were perched even lower on her nose than usual. Her face was one of concentration and she seemed entirely engrossed in the book she was reading. He enjoyed seeing her like this, unkempt and relaxed. Especially in his bed and wearing his clothes.

"You're working on a new potion for Dementia?" She looked up at him. Severus used the opportunity to move her hair away from neck and then began applying the ointment.

"Not exactly," he said. "As you no doubt know, considering your medical background, Dementia is something that our people have been able to cure for centuries. I am trying to find out why someone of a pure-blood lineage is living with a disease we can easily cure."

Minerva frowned. "It must have been caused by magic," she said, lifting her chin slightly so he could access her neck better.

"That is the conclusion I have also come to," he said after a moment.

"Conclusion?" She asked. "Surely this is something you can ask the patient?"

"I do not have access to this person," Severus said, feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she coming to asking who he was doing this for. "I read about the case in a journal when I was working on the healing potions." He hated lying to her but this wasn't his secret to tell. He'd sworn to Lydia that he wouldn't tell her. He wanted to make sure he kept his promise. Perhaps once Lydia had told her, he would confess that he knew. Perhaps.

"It sounds interesting," she said, believing his words. "Let me know if you would like any help. I may be able to connect you with people you can talk to."

Sometimes it slipped his mind that Minerva worked for the muggle health care system. But as she pointed out, she was probably an excellent source he could use. "Thank you," he said, applying the last of the ointment to her skin.

"And thank you," she said as he finished.

"If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be doing this right now," he mumbled. Minerva took the ointment from him and placed it on the nightstand. Then she turned back to him and cupped his face in her hands. She placed a soft kiss on his lips and give him a kind smile.

"What you've just done says more to me than what happened last night," she said. "You took care of me. You're healing me."

"Yes but..." he wished he hadn't had to. He wished that it had all turned out differently. That he could have held her against the wall, her legs wrapped around his waist. He wished he could have watched the water cascading down her body. Licked it off her nipples... the reality, however, made his blood run cold.

"Enough," she gently scolded. "That is enough. I will not allow you to torture yourself over this."

Severus sighed. He would always worry about this, scared he might do it again but in a way she was right. He had to move past this. If he clung to it and obsessed over it, it would consume him. Then the darkness that made him attack her will have full control of his actions. He ducked his head to look at her neck. "It's already looking much better," he said. "It's a fast working potion, there should be no sign of the bruise in a few hours."

"Then perhaps you will stop touching me as though I am made of glass," she leaned back against the headboard again and this time she lifted one of her legs and placed her foot on his chest. He smirked and gripped her calf while he dropped a kiss on her ankle. He began to firmly massage her shapely muscle. "This is certainly a start," she smirked.

"Severus..."

Minerva tensed, her eyes wide as she stared at the portrait over his shoulder. Severus quickly lowered her leg and lifted the blanket up to cover her.

Sir John stared at them both, a smile on his face. "I'm sorry to interrupt," he said and Severus noted that he truly did sound sorry. "Professor Dumbledore is waiting to speak to you in your living room."

"Oh heavens!" Minerva gasped.

Severus turned to look at her and tried to calm her by squeezing her hand in his. "Stay here," he kissed her forehead before getting up from the bed.

Minerva gave him a disbelieving look. "It's not like I have any way of escaping, do I?" Severus knew not to take the anger in her voice seriously, she didn't mean it, but he scowled at her anyway.

"I doubt he knows you're here," he tried to reassure her even though he knew if anyone in the castle had picked up on what they tried to hide, it would be the Headmaster. He seemed to know everything. The look that Minerva gave him told him she thought the same. "Try to get some more sleep."

Minerva scoffed behind him as he quickly slipped into his black dressing gown and headed out into the living room, ensuring that he closed the door to his bedroom.

Albus stood by the desk, looking down at a bowl Severus knew he never left there. He looked up as he made his way toward him. "I see someone brought you dessert," he said, peering down at the bowl again. "You don't want it?" Severus shook his head. He was in no mood for pudding. When Albus pointed at it, clearly asking for permission to eat it himself, he nodded his approval. "Ah, Jam Roly Poly," he said happily and Severus frowned, regretting his decision to hand over his favourite dessert. If only Minerva had told him.

"May I help you, Headmaster?" Severus asked after a moment.

"Ah yes," he said, picking up the bowl and bringing it with him as he sat down on the sofa. "I'm sorry for the early hour but I wished to talk to you about your upcoming year."

"This couldn't have waited until this afternoon?" Severus asked, sitting across from him in an armchair.

"I've been up for quite some time," he said with a smile. "This is my afternoon."

Severus grumbled but managed to refrain from telling the headmaster exactly what he really thought. "What is it you wish to speak to me about?" He said instead.

"Augustus Rookwood," he said, putting the half eaten dessert down.

"Rookwood is set to rot away in Azkaban the last I heard," Severus said through gritted teeth.

"Yes," Albus agreed. "It's his children I am concerned about."

Severus scoffed. And so it begins. "There is nothing I can do about Bexley, she was sorted into Ravenclaw last year."

"I am more concerned about Dante," Albus said. "He's entering his final year here and he will no doubt be angry that his father will be serving a life sentence in Azkaban. I want you to get close to him, find out what his plans are once he leaves Hogwarts."

"I doubt he'll tell me," Severus shrugged. "I was cleared of all charges; you swore my allegiance on the record..."

"Then persuade young Mr Rookwood that your loyalties still lay with your previous master," Albus said, leaning forward in his chair. "If that is where his loyalties are, which I highly suspect they are, he may confide in you his plans."

"And if he swears that his loyalties lay elsewhere?"

"I trust you to find out the truth, Severus," Albus said looking over the top of his glasses at him.

Severus scoffed at that but nodded anyway. "I will speak to him," he agreed reluctantly.

Albus smiled and picked up the dessert again. He continued eating as he made his way to the door. Just before he left he turned to look back at him. "Thank Minerva for the pudding," he said, the twinkle ever present in his eyes as he left.

Severus smirked, unable to control himself, and turned back toward his bedroom. Minerva curled around him when he crawled back into bed beside her. "Albus said thank you for the dessert," he mumbled into her hair and he knew from the way she snuggled into him that she hadn't registered what he'd said.

He smirked when all of a sudden she pushed herself up, one hand holding her weight against his chest while the other covered her mouth. Her eyes were wide with shock as she stared at him. "He... did he know I was here?"

Severus reached a hand to her cheek. "He didn't say as much," he said, his other hand trailing up the front of the shirt she wore. "But he never misses a trick that man. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew."

He watched her eye fill with worry and she looked away from him for a moment, deep in thought. "It's not that I'm against him knowing," she said, looking back at him. Her hair brushed against his chest and he took his hand away from her face to twirl the black strands between his fingers. "I'm just not comfortable with the thought of him knowing that I was in here while you were talking."

"I don't know if he did," Severus said again. "But he definitely knew that it was you who dropped off the dessert last night. There is no one else who would have."

"It was your favourite," she smiled at him.

"I wish I'd known that before I allowed him to walk away with it," he narrowed his eyes at her and she laughed softly, the worry in her eyes disappearing.

"I'll be sure to bring you an extra helping next time." She dropped a kiss to his chest and lifted her head so that he could see her eyes again.

In that split second, the worry had returned. He brushed his fingers through her hair, wanting to erase the feeling of uncertainty from her mind. "Does it really concern you who knows about this?"

Minerva frowned. "I thought it would concern you."

"I don't care what people think or say," he said. "My only concern is you. I do not want this association to damage your reputation."

She smirked at that. "Professor McGonagall, the sex crazed old hag that preys on younger men," she laughed and Severus couldn't help laughing too.

"From your mouth to the Daily Prophet," he smirked.

She hit him playfully. "People don't need to know what we do behind closed doors," she said, her fingers caressing the skin she had struck. "They can see that we are friends but they do not need to know the details of that friendship."

"What if something like this morning happens again?" He asked, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips. He kissed her fingertips. "What if someone finds out?"

"The only people to visit us during times like this will be our friends," she said. "They would not question our actions nor judge us for them."

"And students?" He asked, knowing what was coming next. He wondered just how thin her lips would get from her anger.

"I meant what I said about term time, Severus," she said, giving him a stern look. "There will be no _sleep overs_ or the likes while there are students here... why are you smiling like that?"

"Because I already know this," he said, reaching his hands into her hair and bringing her toward him. "I just wanted to see how thin your lips would get if you thought I wanted to bend the rules..." he stopped when Minerva grabbed her pillow and hit him on the head with it.

"You snake!" She cried, hitting him in the chest. "You're about to find out just how thin my..."

She didn't get to finish what she was going to say because Severus pressed his lips against hers and wrapped his arms around her. He felt her laugh against him as she returned his kisses, the pillowing falling from her hand as she wrapped her own arms around his neck. When she pulled away Severus kept hold of her and looked up into her eyes.

"I have to go," she said sadly.

Severus looked over at his time piece. "Now?"

"More of our colleagues will be arriving today," she reminded him, her fingers brushing his hair away from his forehead. "I must prepare for their arrival."

"If I know you as well as you say I do, then I know that you've already prepared for their arrival." He began to press kisses along her jaw.

"There are a fair few things that I must do before they arrive, on the day they arrive," she said, pulling away from him and leaving his bed.

"At seven in the morning?" He asked, sitting up, his eyes following her as she moved around the room.

"Pomona will be arriving on the over-night train," she said over her shoulder. "She gets into Hogsmeade in two hours."

"Two hours is plenty of time," he said as she collected her clothes.

"Not for you," she smirked. "I know you, Severus Snape."

"I don't know what you mean by that," he narrowed his eyes at her.

She made her way toward him and he noticed the sway in her hips. "If I give you five minutes, you'll want ten. If I give you ten, you'll want half an hour. Before I know it, the two hours will have gone and Pomona will be forced to walk to the castle with her belongings."

He grabbed her and pulled her toward him. "She could do with the exercise," he grumbled as he tried to kiss her but she pulled away again.

"And for that, you'll get no more kisses."

He watched her disappear into the bathroom and Severus let out a sigh as he fell back into his pillows. What he wouldn't give for the privacy of his or her own home right now. He lay there a while longer, thinking about what she'd said to him. _They would not question our actions nor judge us for them._ He wasn't so sure about that. She had of course been speaking of her friends, Pomona, Filius, Poppy and the rest of them. Perhaps if he had been someone else, someone they all liked, her statement may have been correct. But as it was him, he knew the staff would think Minerva had lost her mind. Or that he had perhaps bewitched her in some way.

He glanced up just as Minerva left the bathroom. She was wearing different robes to the ones she'd taken off yesterday and he wondered if she'd transfigured them or if she had summoned Teensy to her. Her hair still flowed down her back and he watched her begin to carefully twist pieces of her hair up into its customary bun. He'd never thought about how much effort it took but as he watched her it was almost as if he could physically see the pieces of Professor McGonagall building back up. After she was finished she turned to look at him and smiled.

"Time to go," she said, making her way toward him.

"I still think you should make her walk," he said, sitting up as she sat next to him.

"I know you do," she said as though she were placating a small child. He frowned at her and she smirked. "I'll see you for lunch," she said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Before she could get too far away, he grabbed her hand and pulled her backwards against his chest. He circled his arms around her waist and buried his nose in her neck. He planted a gentle kiss on her skin and pulled her dress collar away. "The bruise is much better," she said, looking back at him over her shoulder. "You were right, it will have faded soon."

He felt guilt rising in his chest once again and he tightened his arms around her. "I'm sorry..."

"No," she said, turning to look at him over her shoulder. "Stop saying that."

He scoffed as he dropped a kiss onto her shoulder and pressed his nose against her neck. "I will with time," he said.

Minerva laughed gently and untangled his arms from her waist. She turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you at lunch," she repeated, toughing his cheek where she had kissed him.

Severus watched her leave and then fell back into his bed. He had hoped to spend the morning with her, to talk to her and make up for what had happened in the previous evening. But perhaps it was for the best as she seemed keen to move on from it. He didn't blame her; he knew he had scared her but he still worried that he had damaged what they had. He thought back over their morning conversation and not once had she given him any sign that she wished to put a stop to their arrangement. If anything, she was planning ahead, planning for what may happen should other people find out. The thought comforted him and with that, he rose from his bed and began his day. He had much to do in the library.

-x-

Once the remaining staff had returned to Hogwarts, it had been difficult to get any alone time with Minerva. Her time seemed to be split between start of term preparations and ensuring that all the staff had everything they required for their lessons. They had been able to talk often at meal times and even managed a full ten minutes alone at her start of term drinks. But that had been it. He had wondered if he had frightened her away the night he hurt her but the way she looked at him and they way she sometimes let her hand brush against his when she reached for her drink during their meals, told him that he hadn't. It really did seem that, unfortunately, she truly was just too busy. Severus had found himself an occupation and spent the majority of his time continuing his research in the library. He had even, on her invitation, spent quite some time with Professor Sprout in the greenhouses, discussing what type of plants she had discovered on her summer trip.

"I've been trying to get this beauty to take," Professor Sprout said as she held up a small plant pot for him to see. It was just a small clipping, its pale green leaves covered in fur. He didn't recognise it but he could tell it wasn't faring well. "Sideritis Scardica," she said, obviously picking up on his bafflement. "I got it from a little man on a Greek Island. He told me that it has many properties, the Ancient Greeks believed it could heal battle wounds. Now it is used as tea remedy to fight colds." She handed him the sickly looking plant and he lifted it in the air while he studied it. "What I think you will find particularly interesting is that this plant is often used to stimulate the minds of people suffering from Alzheimer's."

He looked up at that. "Does it work?"

"I should think that would be a question for a potions master to resolve, don't you?" She gave him a pointed look and he handed the plant back to her.

"When do you think it will be ready?" He asked.

Professor Sprout sighed and looked down at the small clipping sadly. "Once I've revived the poor little bugger I should be able to get you some samples by Christmas."

Severus frowned. "It's too long," he mumbled and he watched Professor Sprout narrow her eyes at him.

"By all means, find someone else to grow your rare plants for you," she said, obviously irritated by what he'd said. "But none will be a higher standard than what I can do for you. I can tell you that for sure."

"I have no doubt," he said quickly. "It's just that I had hoped to test the potion before then."

Professor Sprout sighed and he watched her face soften. "Christmas at the latest," she said. "I'll see what I can do for you lad."

Severus watched her walk into the back section of the greenhouse where she kept her research specimens and raised his eyebrow in surprise at what had just happened. He hadn't expected that kind of a reaction and it surprised him even more that he hadn't even had to use manipulation to get her to bend to his will.

Feeling rather pleased himself, he left the greenhouses and was nearly ran over by a group of First Years. They froze at the sight of him. "Well, well," he said, watching as they visibly shrank backwards. "Next time, you should watch where you're going. It wouldn't do to lose your House points on your very first day of term, would it?" They all quickly shook their heads and Severus wondered which of the older student's stories about him had frightened them most; his teaching methods or his alliance with the Dark Lord? He was under no illusion that the students weren't gossiping about him, making up stories to terrify the First Years; after all, he'd done it as a student himself not all that long ago. "Off you go," he said, watching them scatter around him and disappear into the greenhouse.

"Good morning, Professor Snape," a voice said behind him. Severus smirked and was about to make a snide comment when he turned and saw the Seventh Year Advanced Transfiguration class following their teacher.

"Good morning, Professor McGonagall," he said with a sneer when she looked at him with a teasing smile. It was too discreet for anyone else to notice but he knew what it was; she'd seen and heard what he'd said to the group of First Years.

"Taking a walk?" She asked, tilting her head. She kept her eyes on him and without any instruction, her students continued on their way toward the paddocks and stables where Professor Kettleburn kept his magical creatures.

"Professor Sprout and I have been discussing the plants she brought back with her," he replied, watching the students walk away in an attempt to distract himself from her.

"Useful?" He nodded and his eyes drifted to hers, she was smirking at him. "I must go," she said with a sigh. "Silvanus found one of his Thestrals dead in the forest so he offered it to me."

"How kind of him," Severus said with a frown.

Minerva smirked. "I'm allowing my students to practise their skills on a large mammal so that I can assess where they are at. A dead creature lessens the potential for accidents," she laughed.

Severus had missed this, missed talking and laughing with her. "Would you care for a night cap after dinner?" He asked.

He watched Minerva's smile fade. "I can't tonight," she said regretfully. "I need to meet with Albus and the school board."

"Never mind," he said with a sneer. He felt his anger bubbling under his skin, he knew it was irrational but he couldn't help it.

"Peter has invited us to a concert in a few weeks," she said, beginning to walk away from him. "Would you care to attend?" She turned, walking backwards so that she could see him.

"Yes," he said quickly which made her laugh again.

"Good," she said giving him one of her smiles before turning to catch up with her students.

He wanted to spend time with her now but he knew he needed to be patient. At least his morning had been productive; he had the Herbology Professor working on his rare plants and a date with Minerva. As he headed back toward the castle for his first class of the term, he congratulated himself on a successful morning.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed it and please remember to let me know what you guys thoughts. I love hearing from you :)**

 **Hope you're all having a great week so far! xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Friendships! Hello! First of all, I'm so sorry I'm so late with this! But the good news is that it's here, we're all here and not only is this a new chapter, it's also an extra long chapter. *happy dance***

 **So the reasons for this being so delayed is that work has gotten really busy again. My theatre has begun its new season and I've taken on more responsibilities. Happy to announce I was promoted though – woohoo! Anyway, even though things are getting super busy again, I'm going to try to write as much as I can in my down time and keep updating this baby whenever I can. More good news, I finally have wifi! So no more stealing t'internet. I'm a good girl I am.**

 **Soooooo here it is. Chapter 4. Thank you to everyone who is reading and to everyone that has commented and added me to alerts etc. You're all stars!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was fun to write, a little heavy on the brain but really fun none the less. Remember to let me know what you guys think, I love hearing from you all.**

 **xxx**

* * *

Chapter 04

The first month of the new school year had kept Minerva even busier than usual. A small flu outbreak had swept through the school causing students and staff to miss various days in the second and third week. Thankfully Poppy, Pomona and Severus had been able to get the epidemic under control but Minerva had still been left with more than half of her First Years needing her attention. It was because of this that she had not seen much of Severus outside of meal times. His frustration was clear to her and she noticed the way he sneered at her whenever she smiled at him; she knew not to take him seriously. He wasn't really angry, at least not with her.

Life at the school had calmed as they entered October and Minerva now found herself entering Edinburgh Castle for the recital Peter had invited them to. Severus walked close to her side, a hand on her back as they manoeuvred around chatting guests. They hadn't had much chance to talk, the short taxi journey to the castle had been mostly quiet, with Severus only enquiring after the programme. If it had been anyone else, it may have felt awkward but with him, it felt natural. It was normal. She'd smiled at the thought.

"Neva!"

Peter's voice bellowed above the din as he made his way toward them. Minerva heard the scoff that came from Severus and she smirked, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. She felt his hand press into her back for a moment longer before it slipped away from her.

"It's so good to see you," Peter said as he pulled her into his chest and gave her a tight hug. As he pulled away, Minerva stepped aside so that he could pull Severus into a hug too. "Severus, my boy," he smiled and patted him on the back when he released him. "It's been too long. How are you?"

"Well," Severus said with a curt nod. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Not at all," Peter smiled. "You're always welcome here."

They had toasted the evening together and Minerva had enjoyed having her brother-in-law in their company for the night. It wasn't often that Peter was just a guest at an event, he was usually entertaining or hosting but tonight was for pleasure. This was his evening off and, as he told Severus, he could think of no better way to spend his time than listening to excellent music with his friends. Severus had raised an eyebrow at that and Minerva had smiled at him. It was just after this that Peter and Severus entered into quite a debate over their preferred classical music era. She had listened intently, delighting in the intelligent verbal match as each pleaded their case. They had each tried to recruit her for their cause but she had managed to keep to the sidelines for the time being.

The recital itself had been enjoyable but once it was over, it had not formed much of their conversation. They had decided to head onto the Mile where they made their way to a small pub that was located in the hidden city under a church. The catacombs were a popular tourist attraction and this particular pub served not only muggle alcohol but also Fire Whiskey, Fishy Green Ale and Gilly Water if you knew how to ask for it. Severus had insisted he buy them all a drink and after he helped Minerva out of her jacket, he headed for the bar to order their drinks.

Minerva sat down at a secluded table with Peter, glad to have a few moments to catch up just the two of them. Just as she was about to ask after the rest of the family, he cut in with his own question. "How long have you been sleeping with him?"

Minerva stared at him, her mouth hanging open in astonishment. She had been so careful all evening not to show any kind of familiarity with Severus, ignoring her body when it called out to feel his hand on her back again. She had been worried when Severus had slipped his arm around her waist to move her away from someone who was trying to pass behind her when they were talking at the castle but Peter had made no sign that he had noticed the exchange and Severus had stepped away from her quickly enough to not draw attention. After all, it was perfectly innocent.

"I..." she wasn't entirely sure what she should say him. She had never kept a lover from him before, she had never lied to him and she had sworn to never keep secrets from him since the day Bertie died. But she didn't feel ready to tell him about this because she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what he had to say on the matter. He had warned her against this very thing when she and Severus had last visited his home and she had been adamant at the time that it was nothing for him to worry about. She had believed in that enough at the time to feel that she wasn't lying to him. And at this moment, she still didn't want to lie to him but she wished now that Severus hadn't left them alone. "I... we're friends..." she began, avoiding his eyes. She truly did not know what to say to him.

"You've never lied to me before sister," he said, touching her arm gently in an attempt to comfort her.

Guilt racked her body and she sighed. "I'm not," she said, covering his hand with her own. "We are friends first and foremost."

"But you are also lovers," he stated. His eyes were unreadable and Minerva hesitated for a moment, unsure how to move forward.

"Occasionally," she said quietly. "Yes."

Peter gave her a sad smile and he grasped her hand in his. "I don't want either of you to get hurt," he said.

"We won't," she gave him a slight smile. "For the first time it's a level playing field. Neither of us are expecting happily ever after and our friendship means more to us than anything else."

"I assume Lydia and Logan do not know about this."

Minerva couldn't help but laugh at that and she was glad that Peter's eyes had softened, his smile no longer sad. "Goodness no," she said, shaking her head. "They have told me of their suspicions but I have denied them. They do not know."

"Probably just as well," Peter nodded. "Lydia would throw a fit!"

At the mention of what Lydia would do if she found her, Minerva's stomach began to twist into knots. "Pete..." she swallowed nervously. "Please tell me that this is... that you..." She didn't really know what she needed to hear from him.

Peter frowned, his eyes filling with worry. "You've never sought my approval before," he said after a moment. "Are you having doubts?"

"No!" She said quickly, shaking her head. "He... he makes me happy. And I know how that probably sounds, I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't living it but he does. He understands what I've been through and that's... it's a gift. He never pushes or demands anything of me. Somehow we help each other forget how damaged we are. We've drifted to each other in unlikely circumstances but I think we've made a difference to each other. We've made it easier... it's hard to explain..."

Minerva stopped talking when she caught the way Peter was looking at her. He smiled and without speaking, he pulled her into a hug and held her. "In that case my dear sister," he said, pressing a kiss to her temple and letting her go. "I'm happy for you."

Minerva let out a sigh of relief and smiled at him. The guilt and the tension from her body suddenly evaporated and she felt elated. "It feels good to tell someone," she said, grasping his hand again. "I'm glad you know."

"No one else does?" He asked.

"People may suspect," she said, thinking of Albus. "But no, I haven't told anyone."

"You're secret is safe with me," he smiled. "I hope that I will see more of you both this year and I want you both to be comfortable around me. Please do not feel as though you have to pretend or hold anything back here."

Minerva smirked. "Is that what gave us away?"

"It was as though you were afraid a spotlight would appear above you if you so much as brushed hands," he laughed. Minerva rolled her eyes but she laughed anyway. She should have known better than to think that she'd be able to hide this from him. She'd need to talk to Severus about this conversation later.

As the evening wore down, Minerva and Severus said a long goodbye to Peter and had watched him climb into a taxi. They had chosen to walk to Prince's Street where they would be able to use the Floo Network in Abbott's but Severus had stopped halfway along the North Bridge and looked out over the river. She stepped up beside him and didn't resist when he circled his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side. She felt his thumb caressing her back under her jacket and she looked up at his face. He was thinking deeply about something, his brow creased and his lips thinned and she leaned back slightly, concerned.

"What is it?" She asked, caressing his neck softly.

Severus sighed. "Peter knows," he said after a moment.

Minerva nodded. "What did he say to you?"

He looked down over the bridge wall at the water that glittered in the moonlight. "He said... he said he was happy... for us..."

He sounded so uncertain, as if he hadn't believed what Peter had said to him. She leaned into him again, hoping it would help ease his mood. "He said the same thing to me," she said quietly.

She watched him nod slowly before he turned to look at her. She wished she could read what he was thinking on his face. "Did you tell him?"

"He already knew," she was beginning to worry. He wasn't giving anything away of what he was really thinking and she found it frustrating. Was he angry that Peter knew? Or was it more that she had told him? "He figured it out..."

"Because you were acting odd," he said, looking down at her. She saw something flash in his eyes and a wave of anger passed through her. She pushed his arm away from her and stepped back.

"We both were," she said after a moment, trying not to let her emotions take control of her.

"Why?" He asked, respecting the distance she had put between them.

"I was nervous," she said. "I can't speak for you but I would imagine you may have felt the same."

"He's your brother-in-law," he said as if it filled in the blanks. It didn't. He hadn't reacted any differently in front of her friends or her sister, not even Logan. "He is Bertie's brother..." He continued. "I don't... I was worried that if he knew, you might change your mind. Reconsider this..."

"I wouldn't," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I admit that I was being too careful tonight and it was because we were with Peter. When he asked me... I was worried about his response but no matter what it would have been, it wouldn't have made a difference to my actions." He nodded and looked down at the ground. "I've never done this before... I've never taken a lover for the sake of sex and nor have I engaged in a sexual relationship with a close friend. Especially with someone that is younger than myself. Peter knows this and he was a little concerned that I might get hurt. That we both might."

Severus nodded again and he slowly lifted his eyes to look at her. "He didn't seem to care about all that stuff," he said quietly. "The sex or the age difference... he just said that if we were helping each other and we were happy then so was he. He said he'd be there if we ever needed him."

Minerva felt her heart swell with warmth at the thought her of brother-in-law and once again she was reminded why she loved him so dearly. "He cares very much about you," she gave him a small smile and stepped toward him, closing the gap a little.

"I'm not used to that," Severus said through his teeth.

Minerva stepped into his space and brushed her nose along his jaw as he wrapped his arms around her again. "Then you'll have to get used to it."

Severus scoffed and leaned back slightly to look down at her. "When must we return to the school?"

"We are held to no schedule," she smirked. "As long as we are back before breakfast tomorrow morning, we shall not be missed."

Minerva watched his eyes flicker to her lips and she felt her skin tingle in sudden anticipation. She felt acutely aware of just how long it had been since she'd kissed him, how long it had been since she'd felt his hands on her body. There had been moments in the month preceding that she had been tempted to go back on the one rule she'd put in place for their arrangement but she hadn't allowed herself.

However, they were no longer at the school...

Severus' lips grazed hers and she could feel how heavy his breathing had become. "Will you spend the night with me?"

She smiled. "Yes." At that, he finally pressed his lips against hers and kissed her. The kiss was slow, maddeningly slow and she had a feeling he was doing it on purpose. She bit on his bottom lip and she felt him scoff. When she pulled back, he was smirking.

They had made their way along the rest of the bridge and onto Prince's Street. They headed into the first hotel they passed on the corner. She may have felt sleazy if the hotel hadn't been as nice as it was. It was hard to think that what you were doing was questionable when you were stood in the foyer of a five star hotel ordering room service to their luxury room. She had offered to pay but Severus had refused, insisting he take care of it. She smirked but allowed him to do as he pleased and headed to the lift to wait for him. As she watched him finishing up at the desk, she wondered where the sane part of her brain had gone. There wasn't one part of her mind that was at odds with what they were doing. She wondered if she'd finally lost her mind.

They discussed the recital as they made their way up to their room. "She lacked the finesse of her peers," Severus sneered as he opened the door to their room. "She may have been young but if she's going to lead an ensemble then she should work harder."

"She showed promise," Minerva argued, defending the young violinist.

"Come now, Minerva," he scoffed. "You noticed as well as I did how she stumbled through the first of the preludes."

"You're being too hard on her," she scolded, allowing him to take her jacket. "The first of the preludes was indeed a little out of pace but she warmed up, she more than caught up with her fellow players."

"Hardly," he mumbled. "Give me that," he indicated to her bag and she passed it to him along with her wand. "The point is, the Leader should be the best of the group. The ensemble depend on her and they were not fully supported by her tonight."

Minerva slipped off her high heels as he made his way toward her. "You're being too hard on her, Severus," she said again. He smirked at her as he bent his head to her neck and placed kisses along her collarbone. "They were all only in their twenties. They are still in training." She let out a gasp when his tongue darted out against her pulse.

"It's no excuse," he said as his hands reached up her back to unzip her dress. "All the guests were paying to attend tonight. If you are going to charge, you should at least have the decency to be up to scratch. She wasn't." As he began to push her dress off her shoulder he smirked at her. "You should wear Slytherin colours more often," he nuzzled her neck again and she laughed.

"I had a feeling you might like it," she said in his ear, admitting that she had chosen the dress especially for him. He murmured his appreciation against her skin as he made his way down her to her breasts, continuing to pull her dress down as he went.

It was a very rare occasion that she didn't wear a slip under her dress but with the style of the garment, it didn't allow for anything more than her underwear. At that thought, she suddenly realised that his hands were edging up her back and she was wearing nothing to hide her scars.

"Wait," she gasped, struggling against him. "Stop."

He did immediately, his hands dropping away from her and he stepped back. "What is it?"

"I..." she suddenly felt ridiculous and felt herself blush. She brought her arms around herself, glad that she was at least wearing a bra. Their eyes met but she wasn't sure what to say to him.

Severus observed her for a moment and then leaned forward to kiss her cheek. She watched him shrug out of his waistcoat and then begin to unfasten his shirt. She smiled at him when he helped her slip on his shirt. "Better?"

Touched, and a little overwhelmed, she stepped closer and brought his face to hers where she kissed him with everything she had. She felt him silently laugh against her; his body trembled just a touch. Now that his chest was bare she wanted to feel more of him. It had been too long since she'd felt his skin flush against hers. She quickly helped him out of his clothes and more than happily pushed her dress off her hips and kicked it away. Their playful mood had returned and soon they were tumbling onto the bed. His hands reached for her pants and she lifted her hips to make it easier for him to peel them off.

* _Knock, knock, knock*_

They both froze. Severus frowned and looked over at the door while Minerva sat up, forcing him to step away from her. She wrapped his shirt around her body and pushed him with her foot, nodding toward the door. He glared at her.

"Who is it?" She called, smirking at him.

"Room service," a male voice replied from the other side of the door. Minerva rolled her eyes and this time kicked Severus as she indicated for him to answer the door. He playfully smacked her thigh in return for the kick and headed for the door. Before he opened it, he picked up his wand and quickly transfigured the shirt she was wearing and his jacket into dressing gowns, which he slipped on before opening the door.

Minerva watched a young man wheel a trolley into their room with a bright smile. She glanced toward Severus who was glaring at him. "We ordered this for 10pm," he snapped. The bright smile on the young man's face faltered slightly as he checked his watched.

"It is 10pm sir," he said, glancing toward her hesitantly. Minerva smiled at him and stood up from the bed.

"Thank you," she said to him, retrieving some muggle money from her purse and handing it to the man. He smiled at her, obviously thrilled with her generous tip.

"No, thank you," the man said, nodding his head to her before leaving the room quickly.

Minerva made her way toward the trolley and she could feel her lovers eyes on her back. "This is your fault," he said and she smirked as she helped herself to the food he had ordered for them. "You wasted the good part of an hour arguing about that dreadful violinist."

"And now you're wasting even more time by complaining," she said, turning to look at him while biting down seductively on a strawberry.

Severus narrowed his eyes at her. "You can be evil sometimes," he moved to the trolley. "Do you know that?"

"Admit it," she leaned into him and pressed a kiss behind his ear. "You think it's sexy," she whispered in his ear, teasing his lobe with her teeth. She felt his body tense as he prepared to grab hold of her but she was too quick for him. She turned out of his reach, her plate of food carefully balanced in one hand as she made her way to the bed. She smirked at the growl she heard behind her.

She sat down on the bed, resting against the headboard while she watched Severus put food on his plate. She balanced her plate on a pillow in front of her and started to make her way through her food, she hadn't realise just how hungry she was. Finally, Severus made his way to her. He lay on his side at the end of the bed, his head propped up one hand while the other picked at the food he'd placed on the bed in front of him.

Minerva studied him while they ate in silence. She always enjoyed these moments with him but as she watched him, she couldn't help but think back to what they were like when he first started teaching at the school. She thought about that first day when she'd taken him to his quarters, when she'd asked him why he returned to the school. He had been a puzzle to her and there had been so many questions that she had kept to herself. Before she could stop herself, one of those questions left her mouth.

"Why did you turn to You-Know-Who?"

Severus froze, his hand halfway to his mouth when he'd stopped. His eyes narrowed and Minerva wondered if had crossed a line with him. She wished she could take the question back. "Why do you wish to know?" He asked after a while.

Minerva looked down at her food, wondering once again why she'd had to bring this up now. "I don't know," she said. "I just..." She didn't really know what to say to him.

"You just what?" He asked, his tone a little clipped.

She paused, her eyes watching for any signs that he was angry with her. When she found none, she continued. "It's something I wanted to ask you when you first arrived at the school last year and I..." she shrugged. "I guess I just want to know more about you."

Severus frowned at her. "You know me," he said. "There is nothing else to discover."

Minerva nodded as he went back to his food and she sighed. "I'm sorry," she said, feeling guilty for prying.

"What for?" he frowned.

"For pushing you," she gave him a weak smile.

"You didn't," he said. "You have questions..." he sighed. "I just do not want my answers to change your opinion of me."

It was Minerva's turn to frown. "I don't see why it would."

He nodded, his eyes falling to his plate. "I will answer your questions," he looked back up at her. Minerva smiled when their eyes met and she hoped he could see how thankful she was for the olive branch he was extending to her. Before she could speak, he lifted his hand to stop her. "But this doesn't mean I will answer all of them..."

Minerva laughed gently. "I firmly believe that only the power of Veritaserum would make you answer a question against your will."

"I should have tested my food and drink first," he mumbled with a dry tone but she could see the smile in his eyes. "Get on with it then."

Minerva took a deep breath before beginning. "Why did you become one of his followers?" She couldn't help but feel a little excited by the conversation that lay ahead of them. He had given her insight into aspects of his life but never had he allowed her to explore so freely and on her terms.

"Because I believed in what he stood for."

The words felt heavy on her mind. Any feeling of excitement vanished and she found herself staring at him, unable to fully comprehend what he'd said. "You... believed in it?" She asked, watching with astonishment as he shrugged.

"I believe that in some of his cruelties there was some sense; he believed that it was the fault of muggles that our numbers depleted." He spoke with no emotion to his voice. It was all fact, as though he were reciting words from a page. It somewhat lessened the sickly feeling in her stomach. "His way of resolving that was to fight back, to eliminate the competition... but I believe he went too far."

Minerva felt something snap in her and she felt herself coming back, no longer allowing his words to throw her off kilter. "He went too far?" She asked, her voice holding a hard edge to it. She knew this conversation would be difficult and she knew she would discover some of the darker sides of her friend but she hadn't anticipated that it would affect her as much as it had so far. "What was too far? Killing innocent children..."

"They burned us at the stake Minerva," he said angrily. He sat up and turned away from her slightly, his eyes looking down at his hands. "They drowned and hanged us. Tied our children up and stuffed them into bags ready to be thrown into a river with rocks tied to them." He lifted his eyes back to hers. "Why should we show them mercy when they have shown us none in return? Even now, in our own lifetime, they would cut us open, run tests on us, think up ways to use our gifts against us and aid them in war. Muggles are a selfish race, they care for nothing but their own causes."

"They have their faults just like we do," she argued back. "Yes, they go to war over religion and territory, they are destroying their home in the name of advancement and some have a sense of superiority over the world despite it not belonging to them... but at the heart of it, they are beautiful."

Severus sneered at her. "How?"

"We are more alike than you think," she said, watching him closely. "We have the same need to protect and care for our loved ones. They are curious beings; adventurers and inventors. They are artists, Severus, you have seen it yourself. And what's more over is that I found more love and safety in a muggle family than in my own pureblood lineage. I believe you might have too..."

She watched Severus turn away again, his brow creasing with thought. "You make a good argument," he shrugged.

Minerva put both of their plates on the bedside table and then moved across the bed to sit beside him. "Do you still believe in what he advocated to be right?" she asked after a moment.

Severus was still for a while. Silent. Minerva wondered if this was the end of their conversation, if perhaps this was his way of telling her he'd had enough. "No..." he said quietly. "I would not be here if I hadn't thought he'd gone too far."

Minerva took a few slow breaths trying to keep her next question at bay but she knew it was only a matter of time. She had never been one to hold her tongue. "What did it take for you to realise what a monster he was?" Her sarcasm wasn't fair, she knew it but when she glanced toward Severus, he didn't seem at all bothered by it.

"You have to realise Minerva," he glanced at her momentarily before looking back down at his hands. "For a boy who hated the world and was equally hated by the world in return, a man offering power and revenge was a keen option. I had no other friends but the ones that led me to him..." he let out a deep sigh and looked up at her. This time, his eyes settled on her and stayed. "I had no allegiance to the muggle world. My earliest experience of a muggle was my father and from him I learned only hatred and regret. Is it any wonder I turned out the way I did?"

"Why did you return to us?" It was an old question but still one that she felt bound to ask. She knew deep down that he wasn't going to answer it.

"I cannot say," he said quietly.

Minerva could almost see the walls he was rebuilding behind his eyes. "You said you'd answer my questions," she said softly, her shoulder bumping gently into his.

Severus sighed and shook his head. "Not this," he said after a moment. "Not now. Please. I will answer your other questions but please... please respect my wishes on this."

The look in his eyes pulled at her heart and she reached out for him, touching his face in a loving caress. "I can see that whatever it is, is hard for you to talk about but perhaps sharing your burden might help."

Severus caught her hands in his own and pressed a kiss to the palms of each one. "So it might," he said. "One day I will tell you, when I'm ready. But until then, I implore you to never speak of it again."

"Of course," she nodded at his request, she would never push him. She knew more than anyone the importance of space. She just hoped that he would confide in her one day, not to satisfy her curiosity but to ease his pain. "At least tell me that I should not be worried."

She watched as Severus gave her a half smile, not quite a sneer but she understood what many would not. He was touched by her concern. "It's nothing for you to lose sleep over," he pressed a kiss to her forehead and made his way back to the food cart where he poured wine into two glasses.

Minerva shifted to the bottom of the bed and watched him for a moment. "Have you ever thought about marriage?" She paused as soon as the words were out of her mouth, wondering just what exactly had gotten into her to make her so forward in her questioning.

When Severus turned to look at her, there was a look of disgust on his face that surprised her. "You ask difficult questions," he said as he made his way back to the bed.

"And you are a master at avoiding them," she smiled up at him as he handed her a glass of wine. He moved onto the bed, his back resting against the headboard and held his hand out for her. She took it and carefully made her way toward him, trying not to spill her wine. When she was close enough he pulled her down in front of him and guided her to lean back against his chest. She settled into him, her head resting on his shoulder as his free arm circled her waist. He lightly tapped his glass against hers and whispered cheers in her ear before they both sipped the fragrant alcohol.

"I've never wished to inflict such a punishment on anyone as to bind them to me," he said against her hair, going back to her question.

Minerva scoffed. "A coward's answer," she teased.

She felt Severus' lips twitch against her cheek and she knew he was smirking. The free hand that lay across her waist began to wander toward the opening of her robe where it flirted with the edge. "Perhaps but my answer is still true." He took a sip from his wine. "What woman would want me?"

Minerva rolled her eyes and leaned her head back to look up at him. "You are more desirable than you think."

Severus placed their glasses on the bedside table and wrapped his other arm around her too. "If we had met under different circumstances, I was not your former student, I was not an ex-Death Eater, would you want me?" His face was serious and for a moment, Minerva hesitated.

"I thought it was I that was asking the questions," she tried to lighten the mood.

Severus smirked and she felt one of his hands slip under her robe. Her stomach muscles jumped at the contact, the warmth of his hand burning against her naked flesh. "A cowards answer," his breath tickled her ear and she smiled. She tilted her head to once again look up at his face and when their eyes met, she caught sight of what he had become so good at hiding; the warmth and affection he felt for her.

"Yes," she said quietly.

Severus sneered. "A Gryffindor admitting to cowardice?"

She smirked. "Absolutely not," she said. "I was answering your question." He froze at that and she couldn't help the tiny flutter of smugness knowing she'd thrown him off his game. Now that she was back in control, she continued with her questions. "Did you turn out as you hoped when you were a child?"

Severus took a moment to consider her question before answering. She felt his hand move up over her ribcage until it stopped at the edge of her bra. His thumb traced the underwire and she felt the familiar aching need beginning in the pit of her stomach. "In some ways I did," he said eventually. "I wanted to distance myself from my father; I certainly did that. I strove to excel in my studies; I went beyond that. I wanted to prove to everyone that they were wrong about me... I suppose however you look at it, I managed to do that too."

"Is that a yes?"

Severus sighed. "Does anyone grow up to be what they want as a child?"

"I think some do," she said.

"Did you?" he asked, whispering something afterward that she didn't quite catch. It wasn't until she felt her bra loosen that she realised what he'd done. He helped her remove the straps from under her robe and she watched the bra hit the wall and fall to the ground. She laughed softly. "So?" He asked as both hands began to wander under her robe again.

"There was a moment when I thought I had it but..." she stopped when she felt his hands graze the underside of her breasts. She didn't want to ruin the mood. "Well... you know what happened."

He nodded against her neck, his lips grazing the delicate skin there. She shivered against him. "Despite that, are you happy?"

"Very," she said without hesitation. The thumb on one of his hands grazed her nipple.

"Are you?" He asked.

"I wouldn't lie to you Severus," she said, arching her back, silently pleading him to give her more. "Are you?

"What?" He cupped his entire hand over her breast.

"Happy."

He shrugged. "I have never been happy," he replied as he began to massage her breast firmly. "But all things considered, I am content."

"Is that enough?" She turned to look at him, her hand reaching up to touch his lips.

"It's more than I ever expected," he kissed her fingertips.

While she was enjoying what his skilful hands were doing to her sensitive flesh, she put her hands on his to stop him. "What happened to make you so... you're outlook on your life..." she paused to collect her thoughts. "It is as though you truly believe that you don't deserve to be here. That you don't deserve your life."

Severus shook his head. "Nothing happened," he said. "It's just the way I am. I always have been."

"I don't believe that."

"Look at you; you had a hard upbringing too. The basics were not so dissimilar from my own circumstances. The loving parent was taken away too early. We turned out very differently. You are warm, a caring individual but you are strong. Your upbringing gave you the tools to be an extraordinary woman... but you already had that in you. I am your opposite. When we look at each other, we can see what might have become had just one tiny thing shifted."

Minerva frowned, not sure she understood him correctly. "You speak as if we don't have control of our own paths."

"I think that no matter the choices we make, our ends will still be the same."

"Now you speak of destiny," she was surprised to hear this from him.

He shrugged and freed his hands from her own, only to return to massaging her breasts. This time she allowed him. "Call it what you will."

"I never would have taken you as the kind," she smiled at him and he playfully pinched her nipple harder than he normally would.

"What do you think?"

"I believe we must take charge of our lives. Nothing will happen to you unless you go out and find it. Life would be terribly boring if it could only go one way," she said, closing her eyes and leaning her forehead against his chin.

"I believe we are all pawns in some grand design. None of us matter, it's all about the end result."

Minerva opened her eyes and frowned. "Which is?"

Severus shook his head, indicating that he had no answer for that. "What are prophecies then if not a glimpse of destiny?" His hands suddenly left her breasts and her robe.

Minerva sat up and turned to face him, her eyes narrowing on him. "You know how I feel about prophecies," she said in a dismissive way. "Seeing into the future has never done anyone any good but if there was one out there about me, I would take it as a warning that a choice must be made. A prophecy is a riddle to be interpreted by the listener. Should they ignore the warning or act upon it? Each choice will have a different outcome but it is up to the listener to decide upon what to do. There is no right or wrong in the interpretation, only the actions that follow."

Minerva watched Severus and she could see that he was thinking hard over what she'd said. Something flashed in his eyes, so fleeting she wondered if she'd imagined it. She reached a hand to his cheek and brushed her fingers against him gently until he looked up at her.

"Next question," he mumbled.

"This isn't an interrogation," she smirked and he scoffed at her.

"Feels like it."

"Would you like to stop?" She asked, allowing him to pull her forward until their noses touched.

"You wouldn't," he said, reaching into her robe and cupping her breasts.

"I would if you asked," she gave him a flirtatious smile. "I wouldn't think any less of you if you backed out..."

He scoffed loudly and pinched a nipple as if to punish her for what she'd said. "I am not backing out," he said, leaning forward until his lips grazed hers. "But I have paid for this room and it would be a shame to waste it..." he pressed his lips against hers and Minerva opened her mouth to him, enjoying the way his tongue ran under her top lip.

"Then let us postpone this conversation for a time when we might be in need of a much needed distraction," she ran her hands up his chest and circled his neck as she kissed him.

"That's the best suggestion you've had all night," he said, ripping open her robe and pushing her down onto the bed. He crawled on top of her, his lips devouring her own.

Minerva felt her stomach tighten at the thought of what was to come. As soon as his lips sought her throat, she let out a guttural sound and Severus replied with his own as he ground himself into her. As he began to move across her body, pressing open mouthed kisses across her breasts and rib cage, she cursed herself again for her need to put rules in place when they were at school. She laughed to herself but Severus must have felt it because he stopped and looked up at her.

"I've missed this," she said, looking down at him.

"Me too," he smirked before going back to pressing kisses across her stomach.

His fingers hooked into her pants and he pulled them off quickly. She reached for him, hoping to feel him inside her but he shook his head. She watched in astonishment as he lowered himself between her legs and ran his tongue through her wetness. She gasped and fell back against the mattress. She couldn't remember the last time someone had done this to her. Severus' tongue was as skilled as his hands and he soon had her convulsing underneath him. She panted against the bed, relishing the feeling of his lips kissing their way back up her body.

They had kissed awhile, touching and teasing each other until Severus pulled her on top of him and she sank down on him. They gasped at the feeling and Severus wrapped his arms around her waist, as she lay across him. He thrust up into her hard and fast and she buried her face in his neck as she cried out his name.

Afterward Minerva lay on her stomach, her head resting on her arms. Severus knelt between her legs, massaging her back and legs, lingering over her arse every time he passed it. These were the moments she missed the most. She'd missed the moments when they didn't need to talk, missed his presence and his quiet solitude. She missed how relaxed she felt when it was just the two of them. She glanced back at him over her shoulder, his eyes were fixed on what he was doing but he looked at her when he felt her shift. He smirked and lifted onto his arms, moulding his body to hers as he laid on top of her, pressing her into the mattress. He kissed her neck and she smiled.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, grinding his sex against her arse. She chuckled softly.

"Not for food," she said, surprising herself at her boldness. Severus seemed to like it though and he easily slipped into her from behind. This new position intensified the feeling of his length pushing into her, stretching her. He hissed into her ear and bit down on her lobe. "Good?" She received a grunt in reply and she smirked.

This position made sex different to what she'd experienced before. He had lifted up on his elbows for better leverage but she was still being pressed into the mattress with every thrust. She couldn't move other than arching her back, allowing him to reach deeper into her. She couldn't shift enough to reach behind her to hold onto him or turn her head so that she could kiss him. He was in complete control and it should have frightened her, perhaps with another lover it might. But not him. Not even when he hooked an arm around her neck, putting pressure against her throat. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, she trusted him.

Her orgasm had been explosive and she wondered if Severus had had the forethought to sound proof the room - she knew she hadn't. She expected him to continue until he found his own release but instead he stopped and pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades. She felt him kneel up between her legs and his hands were on her waist, encouraging her to kneel up too. Her arms felt dead, the blood rushing back to her hands and making them tingle. Her arms gave way and she laughed, causing Severus to lift her so that she was straddling his knees backwards. Her back slid against his sweaty chest as he wrapped his arms around her and began to massage her breasts as he slowly began to thrust into her again.

With her new found freedom, Minerva began to lift with him, ignoring the ache in her thighs at the sudden and unusual exercise. She lifted an arm around his neck, twisting her body enough to kiss him as he continued to thrust hard and fast.

She had never had a lover like him, a lover that she felt a deep connection with. In some ways it frightened her. It was not what she had with Bertie but it was more than she'd ever had with anyone after him.

With their bodies sated and exhausted, Severus devoured the last of the food after she had eaten her fill and then they'd climbed back into bed.

"Thank you for tonight," she said, laying opposite him. He shrugged.

"I'm a selfish person Minerva," he yawned. "I did this only for myself. If you got some enjoyment out of it then I'm glad." He didn't fool her, he never did anymore. She moved closer to him and as if to prove her right, she felt his arm lift over her waist and pull her into him. She smiled against him and he scoffed. "Sleep," he mumbled against her hair.

"Yes," she said as she lifted her own arm over his hips. "Good night."

He pressed a kiss to her hair. "Good night."

* * *

 **Sooooo... what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to have another chapter out very very soon. Thanks again everyone! xxx**


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